Title:

I have never felt like I want to write here less.

I feel like shit. I spend all of my time putting up this massive façade, pretending that I know what I'm talking about, know where I'm going, know what I'm doing and know who I am. I trick people into thinking that I'm good. This perpetual lie that I foist onto these wonderful people makes me feel worse.

I give people advice that I am not able to follow myself. This is hypocritical. How can I look someone in the eye and tell them that I know they're going to be okay, when I do not even believe that about myself?

Now, as it happens, I find that even this paltry, pathetic excuse of a life is untenable in its current form. I have all of these brilliant opportunities around me and huge groups of positive people, yet I can never find peace amongst. I am not worthy of them.

I am so tired of all this. Perhaps forcing myself to keep up with this weekly blog is something to hold on to.

-The English Student