Possibly the most frustrating aspect of this is that I frequently now end up on this blog, only able to articulate these complaints. Perhaps this will change in a weeks time when I should get an opportunity to figure out how to be human again. For in truth, I have to admit that I am currently running myself into the ground.
I have put in a stupid amount of hours work in the past week. If my maths are correct (and honestly, that is a dubious claim in my current state) the tally is just past eighty hours. I have engaged in this foolish endeavour knowing full well what it would do to me and how little it would be worth the effort.
This self-awareness is almost more worrying. For if I knew that I was about to annihilate my body and sense of well-being then why did I continue down the same road? As this intense stretch comes to an end I have to wonder what will happen to me on the other side. Do I want to burn out? If that is the case, how much more miserable will I be when I do?
At any rate, these answers will likely be agonised over in my next post.
-The English Student
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