Sunday, January 16, 2011

Crying in My Sleep

More odd dreams seem to be surfacing.

In these recent dreams I find myself inexplicably crying. As with most dreams, the actual events that lead up to me crying in this dream are shrouded in mystery. I had no idea why I was crying except that it felt like it was from a deep well of sorrow. Not tears of joy then.

Upon awaking I felt suitably terrible. yet not for the reason that I initially thought. Of course, whatever it was that had me upset in the dream lingered for a few moments when I awoke. However, after reflection I began to wonder if this dream affected me so much due to the fact that I feel unable to actually cry while awake.

The release of crying has eluded me for years, much as I have tried to find consolation in it at times. In some respects, this dream mimics a more standard erotic dream. Except instead of sexual release, I had emotional release. Much like a sexual fantasy, the events that created my recent dream are lost in my psyche and the fulfilment of the fantasy is no nearer.

Perhaps this fantasy of catharsis can some day be realised. Until then, I will have to take comfort from crying in my sleep.

-The English Student

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