In the last week some of my friends spontaneously took off for a little adventure. It may not have been fully on the spur of the moment, but within a few hours of discussing a plan they were out of the country fulfilling it. Some people seemed to be a touch angry at them, others shocked, while plenty thought the whole situation was hilarious. I have felt a huge amount of envy.
In a previous post I discussed my ridiculous frugal tendencies and in some respects, this explains my inability to feel free to go off and have such an adventure. My brain would constantly be worrying about spending money when something this spontaneous can only be done without this restraint. But this is incidental to the foundation of my problem. Time is the real resource that I would not be able to give in. If I am not in work, then I am studying. If I am not studying, then I am trying to recuperate energy for work and study. While I still spend a lot of time doing nothing, this nothing is a part of my solid schedule that leaves no room for adventure.
If this keeps up I will truly lose my ability to have wild experiences. It seems that it is an issue of control and reassurance. If someone cannot release some of the control they exert over their internal and external lives then they will never be open to alternative experience. Yet I type all this knowing that I am very unlikely to release this intense control that I hold over myself.
If I continue to wait for an epiphany that will shock me out of this control I may very well miss my opportunity to explore. I may very well become a-adventurous.
-Then English Student
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