Umbrella

I have never really considered myself an umbrella kind of person.

I would always have a hood on the coat that I was wearing when I thought it would rain or failing that, would just resign myself to getting wet. Umbrellas have obviously been in my psyche for my entire life, I just never considered them part of my direct experience.

Last week I ended up buying one out of frustration with unseasonable rain. It is definitely at the lower end of the umbrella spectrum and is liable to fall apart at any time now. That said, I have quite enjoyed its company the last few days. Holding it aloft feels like I am carrying some kind of shield that is light, flexible and as a side effect, keeps me dry.

The umbrella itself is such a standard symbol humanity. When I think of the icon in popular culture I'm drawn to My Neighbour Totoro, The Penguin from the Batman series, China Miélville's UnLunDun and even the name of the evil corporation in the Resident Evil games. They are one of those rare tools that have retained their usefulness since their creation and have silently covered the globe.

I suppose I do not have anything special to say about the item and instead am using this opportunity to address my previous negligence!

-The English Student

Music Circles

Various factors have lead me back to the very first album that I bought as a child.

I illegally downloaded (I figured it was okay seeing as I owned the cassette) Blur's The Great Escape and honestly did not know what to expect. I have not listened to the album in over ten years and much of what I listened to at a young age has been discarded as my taste developed. I really do believe that it has been a development and of course, no-one would claim that their taste is poor, I believe that I have come to enjoy increasingly creative, accomplished and well-crafted music.

The Great Escape really is still great. I can quite vividly remember lying on my bed with the cassette in my new walk-man and drifting off to sleep with it playing. I even remember buying it in the shop and the kind people working in there giving me a free box of chocolates. It really was an amazing beginning to my love of music. The album now carries this weight while still being a brilliant collection of music.

I wish that I could say such things about all of my music purchases, yet feel comfortable knowing that I had such a good foundation. I am tempted to take this opportunity to pan people (and one irritating person in particular) for their taste in auto-tuned, shallow nonsense that is surely written for children. However, my ivory tower is not so high and music is obviously related to taste.

I'm just glad that I like my music and not your music!

-The English Student

Sibling Rivalry

I had a pretty disturbing thought the other day: what if my siblings had been of the opposite gender?

A friend of mine was talking to her brother and I absently had a wish that I had one too. It seems like a common enough wish as there are inherent activities associated with siblings of each gender which you can supposedly miss out on. Video games are for brothers, doll houses for girls and that sort of thing.

My friend tried to comfort me that such thoughts were natural and maybe they are. However, I was still disgusted by this lapse as to claim that my siblings should be anything other than they are is both highly insulting and completely nonsensical. I have wonderful siblings and any change they could possibly make would be for the worse.

More than this, to claim that I missed out on any aspects of sibling activity due to their gender is also complete nonsense. The reason that I missed out on these activities with my siblings (and indeed, everyone else in my family) is because I have never put in the effort.

I can't blame chance for my neglect.

-The English Student

Personal Ads

I recently perused the usual rubbish that comes through my door.

Along with some awaited post, there were a few barely coherent fliers and a small local publication. This publication overtly calls itself an advertising medium and does not offer any real substance beyond spaces for local companies to advertise. Nestled among these advertisements is a personal ads section.

I was struck by its position in the publication and how brazen its position as advertisement became within it. Local businesses advertise their wares in this paper and I wonder if something similar is going on with the local people that take out these personal ads. What exactly are they advertising? Sexual appeal? Sociability? Love? Each of these things seems far more subjective than the type of lawn mower you use or the different supermarket you visit.

At least with these other objects there is a clear definition of what they offer. A better coffee grinder will grind your coffee better. It is not obvious what a better personal ad would look like or what it would sell. Not only do these ads seem to undermine the subjective specificity of relationships, it seems to do so in a manner that is pretty incoherent.

Let's not all become advertisement companies for ourselves.

-The English Student

Value-less Money

Money has lost its practical value.

I will not relate what will probably already be an obvious history, but money has become an abstract quantity. It was tied to various values, most notably the gold standard. The end of the gold standard and the beginning of fluctuating, relative currencies meant that money became valued just for its own sake.

I rush through this history so that I can relate a thought that I had a few hours ago. I was in a shop and mentally going through my usual routine. I always try to use exact change when paying for something or at least make an effort to get as close to that as possible. More than this, I have begun playing a mental game whereby I attempt to get rid of my least valuable coins. Even if I get change back, getting rid of the smaller coins gives me a small sense of satisfaction.

It seems that I want smaller physical amounts of money that are worth more value. This is most obvious when I try to use extra change in order to get a note back from a cashier. These pieces of paper are physically worth less than the metal coins that I exchanged for them. Not only has money become a relative value, it has inverted our normal sense of value. We usually think of metal as more valuable than paper but when this metal and paper is money the opposite is true.

Electronic money is certainly the next case in this unusual inversion.

-The English Student

Empty Proposals

It looks like I will be writing an application for something that I do not believe I will get.

This proposal is probably hollow in two main ways. In the first, there is such a minuscule chance that I will be successful that it is barely worth the effort of applying. It really is a case of throwing together an application so that I do not wonder 'what if' down the line. The reason my chances are so slim is in part that I have very little time to get a coherent proposal together and also for my lack of ability in the area. I do not believe I will be successful.

Secondly, even if I was successful I do not fully believe that I would be suited to what I am applying for. The temptation is to fudge the proposal so as to meet their needs more than mine and while doing so may increase the likelihood of success, it will only decrease my ability to perform in the still unlikely event of that success. I do not fully believe that it is the right path for me.

Thankfully, neither of these issues are actually too great. In this area it is all about mock confidence and convincing people through electronic formats that I am a more viable candidate than is actually accurate. I will need to put on my arrogant writing hat if the tiny chance of success is even to be approached.

I hope that my complete absence of confidence however, does not seep through the proposal.

-The English Student

Intercom Doorbells

Friends of mine live in an apartment building that has an intercom doorbell system.

Of course, these are par for the modern apartment course. However, they do create an interesting dynamic between caller and occupant. Traditionally, a regular doorbell would play a generic sound and alert the host to the door. This preamble was always the same and had no connection to the specific person that pressed the bell. Effectively, you answered the door blindly.

This is obviously transformed by the intercom doorbell. Granted, the same alert brings the occupant to the phone yet at this point they are more in control of who will gain entry. This is not much different from the spy hole that you get in many doors. It is a slight improvement on this function as you can use more of your senses to assess the situation outside your door.

The main difference it seems to me, is the setting of the tone of the oncoming meeting. If I am in a poor mood my tone of voice can very easily affect the mood in the house before I even gain access to the apartment. The other day I rang the bell, was greeted by a joyous sound from the intercom that was completely at odds with my monotone greeting. The room seemed more tempered when I arrived up there, as if the atmosphere was completely changed after the intercom conversation.

Of course, this would occur were I to enter the room without a preamble. It is remarkable however, that the atmosphere of a visit can be changed before it has even begun.

-The English Student