Two Everyday Narratives

English students are generally quite in to narrative. It is kind of our thing.

As I have previously mentioned, English students are also prone to over-analysis of mundane patterns. That said, two contemporary, popular narratives have garnered my attention both in the long term and short. These are, of course, sports and politics.

The narratives of sport are absolutely amazing. They can be adversarial between two or more people or teams or competitive against a form of measurement, or indeed both. The sub plots, detail and spin on these events has become big business for media and betting outlets. With good reason too, as I believe that some of the most fascinating and sincerely compelling narratives can be found in sport. This is partially, I believe, due to the involvement of the person actually watching the sport and due to the unknowability of the outcome. Fans wish to watch every match of their chosen sport, as they are very aware that any match could create a classic narrative.

Politics has a more obvious narrative, with political parties contending with each other and socio-economic issues. I have consistently found that my interest in political narratives in countries has waxed and waned depending on my proximity to the political system. At times, I feel too close to the political system in the country that I occupy. At these times, political decisions have direct ramifications for the lives of people that I know and as such, cannot be taken lightly. Indeed, politics should never be taken lightly. Despite, or indeed because of the serious of these issues I find the political wrangling of parties to be an extremely fruitful source of narrative.

Perhaps if I spent more time studying literature than sporting and political narratives then I would be more worthy of my name!

-Then English Student

Reprehensible and Impulsive

I did something very stupid at the start of this week.

It was almost completely impulsive and lead to many complications. I dealt with these complications badly and I believe that this is partially due to the fact that I am not usually an impulsive person. I acted impulsively, told myself that it did not really matter and attempted to ignore the ramifications of my actions. These actions did not seem like my own, so I was inclined to avoid their results.

Obviously this could not last. Or at least this is obvious when you consider that my impulsive action directly affected another person. It was absolutely reprehensible for me to go on pretending to myself that my actions had no consequences just because they were impulsive. An English student makes a living out of drawing massive conclusions and results from the smallest textual instance. In this case it was deplorable for me to try to pretend that I did not have this understanding.

Impulsiveness is fine, up until a point. As soon as actions start having direct consequences for other people they need rational meditation. There is one thing about small impulsive gestures or ones that have minimal consequences beyond the actor. It is quite another to create major headaches for people based on a whim.

This was not the first time that I did something unwise impulsively. I hope it is the last.

-The English Student

News Context

A disaster has happened.

On Saturday the main disaster for me was the loss of a sporting fixture that I was heavily invested in. I was devastated by the result and my friends were quick to comfort me. However, at the close of the match the international news came on the television. Poignantly, the ridiculous importance that I put on sport was driven home. The fact that I was even alive was a victory.

I have seen many people commenting on this disaster in blogs and social networking sites and I cannot view these entries without a grimace. To be clear, I am all for the expression of solidarity, sympathy and empathy towards those affected by the tragedy. I do not, however, believe that these mediums are appropriate. There is something horribly frivolous about commenting on a massive disaster on something as instantaneous as Facebook. The thought is an admirable one by the poster, yet the post undermines the fact that these disasters should not be dealt with so quickly or shallowly.

I realise that my posting about this situation is somewhat hypocritical. However, I am making a conscious effort not to name the disaster in question. This is not due to some callous method of appropriating the disaster or an effort to generically talk about tragedies with one brush stroke. I am attempting to make an observation of these trends without diminishing the harrowing events that sparked them.

We should be very careful of how we express our empathy, lest we undermine it through the medium.

-The English Student

Analysis Overload

I was pretty furious today.

Two separate events happened that set my temper off completely. Not that I was walking around shouting at people or destroying things. No, I went to my usual hyperactive internal monologue which of course, just made things amazingly worse. This is not exactly a new development for me, but in this case I was absolutely mistaken on both counts and had allowed myself to get carried away by my own analysis; placing blame and condemning people that did not deserve it.

This business of being an English student absolutely lends itself to over-analysis. When you spend any amount of time encouraging yourself to analyse patterns and themes it is only natural for this to cross over into your personal life. The narrative of life is a subject that can be just as intensely observed and analysed, albeit possibly fruitlessly. In fact, "fruitless" does not even begin to cover what this tendency has done to me at times. I was ready to write people off today and fell back into isolated misery without garnering any of the real facts or making any attempt at communication.

Perhaps this reflective post on my reflectivity can be some kind of cathartic release from this danger. All of the clichés of getting outside of your head and just going along with life have become tawdry for a good reason. If I could just shut down for a little while or at least be able to "go with the flow" enough to not get "wound up" over nothing, I would have a happier life.

Maybe the trick is to just stop thinking. Stop typing.

-The English Student

A General Election, Generally Speaking

I have viewed a recent election with an almost a-political perspective.

That previous sentence is nigh-on nonsense, yet what I mean is that my view of the election had less to do with party strategy, policy or even personality. In truth, I believed that each of these usual factors were almost completely hollow on the part of every candidate in the election. I did not see any major benefit in favouring any of the candidates. Not due to political apathy I should point out, more due to a sincere feeling of political futility.

This allowed me to view the election in a different light. I was hoping for a result that would be, as I saw it, "most democratic". This involved a hope for candidates of all different viewpoints that they would get a chance to gauge their opinions against the electorate and then, if appropriate, represent them on a national level for the country. To an extent, I believe that this has happened. There is more likely to be varying views expressed in this country's government.

The second main aspect that I looked at was voter turnout. Again, whatever the result, I felt that it was essential for this country's democracy to be as fully representable as possible. For whatever a political party may stand for, it is the people that give them the reins to power and it should therefore be the choice of all of the people. Apathy does seem to be shaking from the electorate.

These abstract issues being generally fulfilled, the next government of this country will therefore be a truer test of the democratic procedure.

-The English Student

Radiohead, The King of Limbs: How Not to Review an Album

Radiohead surprised the public this week with both an announcement of a new album and subsequent release of this album.

The internet was a hive of activity yesterday as rumours swirled around about their new release. When the album was in fact released, the predictable race to write a review began. I myself kept an eye on this development, watching people's snap judgements and early opinions emerge, allowing them to influence my own decision as to whether I should pick up the album or not. After watching these reviews and after getting my hands on the album, I found myself wondering what on earth had just happened.

In effect, I was swept away whilst browsing the net in a manic search for opinion on this album. This was a first for me as I have usually been content to wait a few weeks before making a decision on an album. I think the manner of release of this particular album has underlined the 'fast-food' tendencies of the contemporary music industry. The space of time between the announcement and release of this album was one week. With digital distribution, the space of time between the release of this album and the attainment of it for the consumer is, depending on your internet connection, about 10 minutes. We are getting very close to instantaneous consumption. In fact, this album was released a day earlier than initially advertised. It was practically pre-instantaneous. With such speed of consumption, the rush to form and find opinions was not far behind. If we can get music so quickly then of course we will hunt for opinions on that music quickly. It is no longer products that we wish to ravenously consume, it is also thought.

I have heard the album twice since yesterday. The first time I was reading while listening, the second I was travelling. Music is the kind of thing that you live with and that becomes part of the environment. As such, I still have not made any kind of value judgement on the collection. I will allow it to grow or wither on its own merits, within the atmosphere of my own musical life.

Perhaps then I will bother to write a review, when I have fully understood my relationship with The King of Limbs.

-The English Student

A Guilty Week

I feel guilty about everything.

If I take any action that leads to the slightest negative consequences for anyone, by and large I will feel guilty. There are of course exceptions to that rule, as some people are truly not worth the energy that this guilt would cost me. But mostly any possible joy I can have from a situation will be tempered by the potential that it costs someone else the same joy.

I realised yet another aspect to this early in the week. I heard of something tragic and I instantly felt guilty for my own inaction in remedying the situation. I engaged in a hypothetical understanding of the situation, yet the only hypothetical I would allow was the one that made me feel the most guilty. More than this, I began to feel guilty that my own guilt was de-railing the true tragedy of the event and that I was being selfish.

Can I actually do anything or not do anything without feeling guilt? I am getting pretty sick of it myself and I cannot imagine how tired my friends must be of my constant efforts to martyr myself. I hope that I can get this under control and at some point, feel worthy of the compassion that they show me at every possible opportunity.

Or perhaps I will feel guilty for taking up their time too.

-The English Student